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Temukan Rekomendasi dan Review Buku dari Meramu.com

SEPUTAR ISLAM

Artikel Seputar Islam.

Biology Corner

Belajar Biologi Bersama

NU atau Muhammadiyah?

Pertanyaan yang tidak asing.
NU atau Muhammadiyah?
PMII atau HMI?
netral atau masuk kelompok politik?

Secara kultural, aku NU. dan aku memang NU, dari lahir sampai sekarang. bukan NU yang ikut-ikutan, tetapi benar-benar NU dari hati, dengan sedikit tahu dasar, silsilah, dan sejarah. 

Tetapi bukan NU yang fanatik sehingga menganggap semua yang di luar NU salah. secara umum, NU memang dikenal toleran. kadang agak liberal, kata mereka yang di luar. bahkan tidak jarang juga di dalam tubuh NU ada perpecahan. ya itu sih normal. sangat wajar. coba sebut organisasi mana yang di dalamnya adem ayem tanpa hambatan.

semua organisasi punya dinamikanya masing-masing. pun dalam NU yang semasif itu. yang sebesar itu. ada banyak kepala. ada banyak keinginan. ada banyak tujuan yang seringnya berbeda. bahkan sayyidah Fathimah dan sayyid Alipun pernah berselisih. Mereka orang-orang terkasih Rasulullah. Apalagi yang hanya NU dengan berbagai manusia di dalamnya.

Sebagai warga NU, aku mengikuti nilai-nilai tasammuh, tawakkal, dan lain sebagainya itu. Sebagai warga NU juga, aku tidak selalu membenarkan apa-apa yang digaungkan oleh warga NU lainnya. Bukan tidak mungkin ada intrik politik di dalam apa yang mereka suarakan. Bukan tidak mungkin ada kepentingan kelompok. Meskipun secara organisasi, NU selalu mencita-citakan sebuah kebaikan. tetapi siapa yang bisa menjamin bahwa mereka yang ada di dalam organisasi selalu berlaku sesuai dengan apa yang dicita-citakan.

yang belakangan aku coba pelajari,
manusia cenderung berkata sesuai dengan apa yang saat itu sedang ia rasa dan pahami.
Perselisihan di satu waktu bisa menjadi alasan mengatakan buruk.
Kedamaian di waktu yang lain bisa menjadi alasan mengatakan baik.
ada sisi di mana manusia akan tidak sejalan, biasanya mereka akan mengatakan hal-hal buruk.
ada juga sisi di mana manusia menemukan kecocokan, di situlah mereka mengatakan semua kebaikan.
kurasa tidak hanya politik yang mengasaskan kepentingan, tetapi seluruh kehidupan manusia. Hatinya.

untuk itu,
aku mencoba untuk selalu mendengar.
tentu ada alasan dari setiap perbuatan.
menuntut semua orang berlaku sesuai yang kita harapkan, rasanya mustahil.
yang bisa kita lakukan hanyalah mencoba bertoleransi.
jika bisa ditahan, pertahankan.
jika terlalu memuakkan dan tidak bisa dimengerti, tinggalkan.
sepertinya mengatakan hal-hal buruk tidak akan menambah nilai kebaikan bagi kita. justru sebaliknya, menampakkan bahwa kita tidak cukup lapang, atau mungkin tidak cukup baik.
tentu selalu ada pengecualian. 
entah pengecualian yang bagaimana.
kan cara melihat manusia tidak sama.

Jay Afrisando and His Wife

Yesterday I scrolled down and up socmeds of a friend. His name is Jay Afrisando. For sure he doesn't know me. I just accidentally found his name in the list of LPDP's awardee and then chose to take a closer look because his story inspired me.

He is a musician. Nowadays he lives in Minnesota with his wife, Terry Perdanawati. His wife is a freelancer and food blogger, she is also a content writer. I took a look to her blog. Turns out there are so many stories inside her blog. Telling about their life in Minnesota and their overseas travelling stories.

I did feel great to read their story. They have the courage to break their limit and step out of their comfort zone. They love each other and be a strength for one and other as well.

I think, the relationship belong to Jay and Terry is wife-husband relationship supposed to be. Be a partner and a friend. Be a lover and a home. 

May Allah bless them. May Allah give them  children that will cherish their life and enlighten their journey.

Kindness

How relative a kindness is.
Good or bad, kind or wick, it all depends on who sees it. So subjective.

A Letter to My Future Self (2)

Hi dear,
Note that yesterday or even today you have been fall into someone.
Note that you were so much in despair just to know the fact that it is hard for you to be with him.
No matter how close he might be, but still, he was not in your radar.
The chance was not exist because you have removed it from the very first place. Or to be fair, maybe the chance was never ever exist. 
Remember that you had suffered a lot to endure the feeling, erase the feeling, and saving the feeling in many different ways. 

You do not know what to do.
Then you choose to stay because you say you are fine with the various emotions' of loving. 
You made it.
You have experienced how sweet and bitter it is to love and hope for someone.
But in the end, you lost your way.
Gone too far.
Until the day when you have to decide for your life.
You have to choose about keep being silly or be full of conciusness and confidentally step to your next journey.

You eventually said,
"Maybe it is my fate to be with someone I don't love. maybe love is the second thing, the first one is acceptance. and the love itself, is growable as the time flies by."

Wisely you give advice to yourself,
"Forget him and try to get out of your comfort zone. Forget your expectations and try to life the truth".

But sometimes,
the place where you work, the road where you pass by, reminds you to him.
He is just too shining. indeed.
Making him someone else's truly not easy, but doesn't mean can't be done. Just try it. Force yourself.

If he's really destined for you, what else can be obstacle for you to be with him?
If he's not your destiny, then what can you do?

Dear my future self,
It is okay to love someone. To give your best for loving.
But when you need to make it done, then say enough and stop.
Don't live in a past. 
it is okay to look back, not to fall within, but to build the new one.

See youself with grace. be happy then.

A Letter For My Future Self

Hello dear,
Time passes, a lot of things happened, a bunch of memories created. Some of these memories maybe well-saved but the rest might be forgotten. Hence I write this for you to read when you are older. Since clinging into memory is not something bad, I think you will be immensely happy to look back at them, some times in the future. So here you are, have a seat and read.

Now on I am 25 and will be 26 in the next two months. To be honest, I didn't realize that I am getting older this fast. I always think that I am still a teenager who loves to play and experience new things. Until I found that most of my friends were married, I then know I am not that young to fool around anymore. It is not that I don't work professionally in job affair nor associate well with my circle, but it is about a long-life relationship. A commitment to build a family with somebody.

I never be in a relationship. It means I never have someone to call dear or sweetheart. I don't know why wouldn't I be with someone in the past. I just feel so much awesome with my own self and do everything by my self. No, the fact is, I don't how to start a relationship. I don't know how to be pampered in front of somebody and I don't think I should be like that. I just thought that I should act strong and be wise for every occasion I have. I just thought that I do not need to show my weakness eventhough actually the weakness might be shown naturally. 

I do remember one of my senior said, "Kamu itu hijab elit". That words means that I was not easily 'touched', like there were a high wall divided my world and others. Some of my juniors said to my teacher, 'ketua IPPNU yang sekarang agak sombong. susah didekati'.

People out of my circle in high school might saying so: She is arrogant, having a certain criteria for friends, have too high value on things, and perfectionist.

They just didn't know what I actually was. I was just too shy to say hello even though I was a member of IPPNU that should be confident and active. They just didn't know I couldn't speak freely things that I didn't think need to be told. I didn't like to have a chitchat on unnecessary things. That is the proble. But at least, I have tried to smile everytime I meet people.

Yeah,
It doesn't much matter anyway. Past is just past. 
But past is always a part of me, it gives colour in my life.
The past shaped me to be what I am right now.
The way I interact maybe is not much different with years ago.
But I learned things, mostly when I was in college.
I feel that I have changed a lot. I have learned of how I have to face people.
But for that one thing, the having relationship thing -- is still zero until today.

So,
Dear my future self,
if you have somebody tomorrow,
Tell him that he might be very special. Because no one had been with you before.
Tell him how hard you find him and ask him where have he been until he comes so late.
Ask him didn't he know that you are waiting.
and after both of you in relationship,
note this in mind, "The difficulties of finding should be your reason to stay together forever. Quarrel is something normal. Just remember to find a way to walk closer when the situation might pushes you two to walk further.




Promise Me

June 13 2020

Hello sun!
How have you been?
I am coming here again after times of wandering around. I am here again to greet you with a warm heart.
If you are asking, I am pretty fine, thank you. I eat well and live well in this earth with your light everyday.
I find it hard not to think how this earth rotate and people interact. 
So my days' also fulfilled by kinda thought. Why do they do this and that. Why do I do this and that.

Sun,
the most difficult thing in this world is controlling ourselves and minds. 
the other difficult thing is saying that we are not okay.
Self-esteem sometimes prevents us from saying what we actually feel. 
Saying we are not good is sometimes makes us feel even worse, indeed.
but recently I realize that "it is oke not to be okay"
It is normal to feel bad.
It is okay to tell somebody that we need a rest.
we are mere human anyway,
just take our break
then continuoe when we are ready.

So, sun..
please promise me that you won't lift up your burden alone.
I am here with you to share.
I will never be far :)

Belajar Dari Pengalaman

"Beberapa orangtua percaya, anak harus dididik dengan penuh kelembutan dan pengertian, agar kelak mereka bisa tumbuh menjadi orang yang penuh kasih sayang dan kebijaksanaan."

"Beberapa lainnya percaya, anak harus dididik dengan disiplin dan keras agar mereka tangguh menghadapi dunia luar. Agar ketika mereka menemukan duri di tengah jalan, mereka tidak mudah menyerah. agar mereka kelak tumbuh menjadi anak yang tidak mudah patah."

Kita bagaimana?
Jika menjadi orangtua, kita akan menjadi tipe orangtua yang mana?

Pertanyaan ini cukup menggelitik. 
Wajar jika setiap orangtua ingin yang terbaik untuk anaknya. Dan untuk sampai ke sana, maka berbagai usahapun dilakukan. Dengan ragam cara yang luar biasa banyaknya.
Tetapi setelah diamati lagi, sepertinya pola mendidik bukan satu-satunya penentu karakter seorang anak. Ia sangat mendominasi memang, tetapi bukan satu-satunya penentu.

Kadang sebagai orangtua, kita luput menyadari bahwa anak lahir dengan karakternya masing-masing. Kadang tidak peduli seberapa besar kita mencoba menanamkan sebuah nilai, seorang anak masih saja ada yang berjalan meninggalkan nilai yang ingin kita tanam. Kadang ada yang begitu mudah menerapkan nilai itu tanpa kita susah-susah menanamkan.

Yang pasti satu,
"Daripada mendengarkan, seorang anak memang lebih pandai meniru."
Jika orangtua membentak, dengan dalih demi kebaikan anak, sebenarnya yang lebih tertanam pada anak bukanlah kebaikan itu, sebaliknya ia justru juga akan belajar cara membentak.

Orangtua memang kadang sulit mengaku salah, jika ia telah berbuat salah. Orangtua cenderung ingin selalu menjadi benar dan menyalahkan anak jika ada sesuatu yang kurang benar. Pola ini yang kurang baik dan harus dihilangkan. defensif is not something good. karena defensif yang semacam ini justru akan meninggalkan bekas yang buruk dalam hati seorang anak.

Bagaimanapun,
kita menyadari, mendidik memang bukan sebuah perkara mudah. terlalu keras bisa membuat anak berontak. terlalu lembut bisa membuat anak menjadi lepas kendali. menjadi tengah-tengah perlu kita pertimbangkan setiap waktunya. bagaimana dan bagaimana.

Satu hal lagi,
tidak peduli apa, 
Uswah.. jika kau nanti menjadi seorang Ibu, jadilah seorang pendengar yang baik, seorang pemberi nasihat yang hangat. Jadilah sosok ibu sekaligus teman. Jangan biarkan anakmu tumbuh dengan rasa takut untuk bercerita kepadamu. Jika anakmu tidak sepenuhnya menjadi seperti apa yang kau inginkan, mengertilah -- sesungguhnya ia sedang berkembang sesuai dengan apa yang ada dalam dirinya. Jika ia berbuat salah, beri ia kesempatan untuk berbenah. Jangan biarkan pikiranmu menjadi buruk terhadap anakmu. arahkan dan jangan hakimi. Nasihati dengan lembut dan jangan marahi. Karena kelak kau akan menjadi ibu, maka jaga kata-katamu. Katanya perkataan seorang ibu terhadap anaknya adalah sebuah doa. 

Robbi hablii minas sholihin.